Although it still takes an hour of pep talk to get myself out of bed in the morning and I still have bouts of irrationality, I think I am doing better.
I got to pass out candy to little kids at the zoo tonight. I am thinking of volunteering again next Saturday. (I know, I know; it is surprising, but they do allow me to be around little kids.) I kinda hope if I do volunteer, I'll get to be a character again and pass out candy. But I wouldn't mind being a runner. I rather not wash tables.
I am more or less over the tutee. It was a humiliating ordeal resulting in more or less a "no." As in, the "no" was not said but facial expressions said it all.
Still plowing away at research. My prof wants me to publish, but considering it takes an hour (sometimes way longer) to convince myself to get out of bed and face the day, I am not sure that will happen.

Still so distant. Still proud. But asking for help.

The 10,000 lights before me are no fireflies giving hugs but 10,000 lights warning of eniment and inevitable destruction. *sigh
How do I travel through a mine field with a blingfold on?
How do I navigate through 100 event horizons?
How did I become such a cold-hearted bastard?
How did I get to this place?
How do I get back to You?